Maximum Exposure (The Younger Years) The Law of Attraction – What a Lie…Continued

(Names will be withheld to protect the guilty but the truth will be told.) 

      Documenting the life story of a young man (me) who grew up in the rural Mississippi Delta, with much to tell about life, has been a roller-coaster ride engorged fully of pain, shock, lies, deception, lust, hate, anger, excitement, and joyful triumphs in life.

      (Hmm…This is where I will start!)  It was a very muggy and warm day in the Mississippi Delta and attendance at school was the joy for the day.  Little was it known, at the time, that a young man’s life (mine) would be changed forever because this is the day I met a young lady (#1), who would forever change my life and perspective on the type of woman I wanted and needed in my life. She wasn’t close to being that woman, but at the time I didn’t know any better or at least that’s what I have convinced myself to believe over the years.

My ebb and flow relationship with #1 lasted through my 3 years of high school, 1 semester of college at Alcorn State University which ended on a revoked scholarship, and turned into something life changing after I joined the Army and returned from my first combat deployment to Desert Shield/Storm.  That life change came in the form of a conversation that went a little something like this: #1 – I have something to tell you.

Me: What is it?

#1: Promise me you won’t get upset.

Me:  OK, I promise.  What is it?

#1: I’m pregnant.  What are we going to do?

Me: (Without freaking out or thinking too hard.) I guess the best thing to do is to get married and take care of my responsibility.

#1:  So, we’re getting married?

Me: Yes

Once I said, “yes” is when my heart sunk to the bottom of my stomach and everything my mother ever told me seemed to mean more than ever before.

Me:  How far along are you?

#1:   I don’t  know…….a few weeks I guess.  (That response should have told me that something just wasn’t right, but why should I have to think that I was being deceived.)

[Years earlier-the upbringing:  My mother, the family disciplinarian, and motivator, always preached to me and the other siblings that if we were ever grown enough to create a responsibility before marriage, we better be ready to take care of that responsibility and never run from it.]

I even went against my mother’s advice and guidance by trusting that #1 was pregnant without ever seeing a pregnancy test.  My mother told me on a number of occasions, including the day of my wedding to #1, that #1 wasn’t pregnant and was only trying to get a ticket out of Mississippi.  Was she ever correct in her motherly wisdom! 

Fast forward months later after getting married to #1, moving her to Fort Hood, Texas and starting life as a 20-year-old husband and future father:  I get woken up one Saturday morning and #1 tells me she has something to tell me.  After asking what she wanted to tell me, I find out that she, in fact, was not months pregnant but was only a couple of weeks pregnant.  Yes, you read that right.  She told me that she wasn’t pregnant before we married but had gotten pregnant since I had moved her away from Mississippi.  Anger doesn’t begin to describe my feelings at that point and I reserve the right to not share what my real thoughts were and what I thought about doing; thank God I didn’t act upon my thoughts because I wouldn’t be typing this blog post.

Our marriage really didn’t last long and she’s currently married to the guy she said was just a friend (sex partner) while I was stationed in South Korea and she and my 6-month-old son lived in Mississippi.

I can write hundreds of pages about that part of my life, and I have, but I will end this thought by stating that I don’t blame her completely for executing a plan to get away from the rural Mississippi Delta, but I often wished she would have chosen another target of opportunity, not linked to my journey.  (The rest of 22 years of this story is in my book.)

Many years later, I would realize her choice helped fuel the fire of success that burns in me this very day.  We just happened to always be on two vastly different levels and it would ultimately have the greatest negative impact on my son’s life and I won’t be blogging much about his life (It’s in my book).

Stay tuned for more of my life in the next Maximum Exposure blog post.  To be continued!

The Law of Attraction – What a Lie!

Sometimes opposites shouldn’t attract, and should never, ever, ever come in contact.

The byproduct of such engagements often tends to be problematic. This knowledge in my younger years would have certainly kept me from making some of the life-altering decisions I made.

We can sometimes get ahead of God’s answer to prayers about our lives, by growing impatient and making our own choices….or in some cases, our ignorance leads us into falling for the snares produced by the deceptive plans of others (ignorance in youth and lack of social exposure).

These types of events run recklessly in teenage and young adult relationships because most have yet experienced life outside of the bubble they grew up in and trust. Anything new and better is foreign to their minds which also leads to entrapment and premature decisions about some very serious life choices like marriage, children, education, and I can go on and on!

This topic is one I’m so very familiar with because it is something that forced me to grow up way too fast!

Journaling for many years was a means of recovery and healing and has lead to the preservation of some very interesting stories in one of my books, that I will share in this blog.

Some of the stories of my life. Strap in and hang on for the ride!

Judge me, if you must, but also be ready to learn whether you are in one of my true stories or not. (The names have been changed or omitted to protect the guilty and innocent, too!)

-from 34,000 feet above the Pacific Ocean, on my way to Hawaii…

Open Your Eyes

When the world first dignified color with race, separation and privilege…..is when things first began to go wrong.

The only way to change things is to teach our newborns and youth the right way to see others, and they in turn can be the catalyst of learning for a legacy.

God is greater!

Be blessed.

Roy

True Signs

If someone has to tell you how great they are, that’s usually a sign that they are hiding deeply rooted issues and the facade of greatness shields you from their true story.

Troubled people are not always bad people, they just need help.  It can be hard to get them to allow you into their world, but when they do give you an all-access pass ensure you have the ability and time to dedicate towards really helping them.  If you are not properly equipped to tackle the problem you will only cause them to withdraw from you and others and the facade of protection will only grow more elaborate.

So, read the signs accordingly and be properly prepared to adjust to changes.

Be a blessing to others and never wait for them to bless you; it will happen.

Roy

It’s Your Problem to Own

You can’t expect someone to feel secure with your insecurities.

Stop trying to make your lack of self-love be what others feel about themselves and get some help.

Failing to remedy this problem will only lead to more pain, heartbreak, and loss of valuable relationships.

Look in the mirror and start seeing the problem that is right in front of you looking through your soul…….YOU.

Here We Go!

Hmmmm………I’ve finally made the decision to not publish my book but instead, blog about the content of my book and the ideas that constantly flood my head.

You normally see my thoughts on my personal Facebook page at #RoysMentoringSessions, but I will no longer spill my brain on my personal page.

So, for those of you who know me, enjoy the ride and for the perfect stranger, who will know me soon, smile and enjoy “The Glory of Hope”.

Roy